Reflections on the Road of 2020
December 10, 2020 ~ A very surreal experience from February 8, 2011 popped in my head this morning.
I was driving along nicely, very early, this one wintery morning. The roads were clear and no precipitation. All of a sudden, my car lost control on black ice and was swerving all over the road. This incredible surreal calm came over me. It was like I was outside of myself watching. I was observing the car sliding back and forth. I did not attempt to steer or touch the gas or brake. I felt totally surrendered and at peace. I noticed the thought pop into my mind “focus your attention on the road ahead” (not the ditch). Fear was not present or a need to control/rectify the situation. My car gracefully twirled 180 degrees and I landed gently with the driver’s side into the snowbank, as if I landed on marshmallows. Now I was facing the direction I was coming from; on the side of the road I was driving on. Even then, there was calm. I called Otto and he came, towed me out and I drove back to the house. There was no damage to my car or myself. Shortly after I went on with my day in a different vehicle.
Although, there may be multiple layers when reflecting on this experience, one analogy that presents for me, is driving along the road of 2020. My reflections in this moment. Nothing more, nothing less.
December 11, 2020 ~ Continuation of February 8, 2011…
In spite of the black ice episode earlier that morning, calmness remained and after a short time I continued on with my day. I had a commitment with my former employer in Joyceville to fill in for the day, doing bookwork for my replacement, who had planned holidays before she was hired. So off I went from my home in the county.
After getting off the 401, going a short distance and noticing the gas light, I decided to turn around and go back to the gas station. I turned around in a driveway and as I approached the railway tracks, lights began to flash and the arms were coming down. As I put on my brakes, the car kept sliding, refusing to stop! Fear and panic were immediate! The summer before, a car stalled on the tracks and there was a death, in this very spot. This possible outcome rushed over me! Without thinking, I pulled on the emergency brake and the car stopped just in time!
Needless to say, this time I was shook up!! The shock over what just happened trembled throughout my body the rest of the day! Eventually I calmed down, rebalanced my energy and did my work.
With a day like this, you can’t help but have spiritual reflections about life, meaning, purpose and priorities! Certainly, something huge shifted within me on this pivotal day!
Reflecting on the analogy of the road of 2020, there will be moments of trust and surrender to Divine plan and there will be moments fear comes rushing over us!!! Neither is the right way or the wrong way. They are simply ways. Let’s allow, love and support ourselves through this pivotal time.
In the process, we are learning so much about ourselves! We are experiencing our emotions and endless thoughts on a more aware level than ever before! We are reassessing our beliefs around life, death and meaning. We are re-evaluating our priorities, how we can make a difference in the world and how we are choosing to be this human being! There is a HUGE shift taking place before our eyes!
Thank you for allowing me to share some of my reflections and having your own. I am grateful to be on this road with you!
Love for All ♥ Sherry Buikema
Creativity School Dream
I had an interesting dream last night. At first it was like I was running late to be at my creativity school for an exam. I was scrambling to get to school on time.
I arrived at a place similar to a school auditorium, however it was outside. There were other students there also and we would each take our turn. The teacher and other students would observe as I spontaneously spoke poetically in response to what was flowing in the moment.
It was like I was gliding in nature and mindlessly spouting out poetic sentences. It felt mundane and uninspiring. Suddenly I glanced up, seeing the silhouette of bare trees on a moonlit night. My attention was caught by the sparkly star diamonds bursting through the branches. The image of the trees and stars were swaying, dancing gracefully in the night sky.
I was mesmerized and zapped into presence and flow with creative expression, connected whole-beingly to that moment in timelessness. Instantly incredible words of poetic beauty flowed with my voice into a glorious heart song. There was a tangible sense of connection, wonder and awe!
When I woke immediately after, it felt as if I were still there within that energy of creative expression flowing through me. I smiled as I knew I had passed my exam. 😊
Sherry Buikema ~ October 3, 2020
Last Monday I started experiencing a pinched nerve resulting from moving too much mulch in one wheel barrow load. Ugg. Painful spasms zapped the right side of my head frequently and intensely! Even though I attempted to meditate and received distance healing with friends, by Wednesday, I was emotionally distraught, as I was unable to do any outside work, especially now the weather is so nice!
Thursday night I required 3 doses of muscle relaxers before due time and heat rub. Friday, I woke up at 1:15 a.m. in tears. When I realized a chiropractor appointment was out of the question, even for what I labelled an emergency, all I could do was sit in nature. When I surrendered, this is what she said. As I was writing this message, sitting by the pond, the final hold on spasms was released. That evening I was able to sleep pain free without meds or heat rub and doing well since.
I was noticing my feelings. I was feeling a lack of control and nothing I could do to change it. I felt restricted and limited as to what I could do. I sense the similarity to feelings around this whole isolation situation and all the things coming to light.
I re-remembered that Love is ready to hold and heal us, if we can let go of needing to be in control and surrender. Surrendering is not giving up, but giving over. As guided, allowing Love, Earth Mother, Divine Source, Higher Self, Beings of Light – whatever it is for us, to assist us in holding space for our concerns, anxieties and fears. In this beautiful space of unconditional love we integrate the shadows, so that shifts and miracles happen!
Interesting is that I also experienced a shift in my feelings around current situations, freeing up space for more love and expansion!! This is one of the things we came here to re-remember, practice and share. We’ve got this!
Nudged to share. Much Love to All! ❤
When we turn Love’s attention inward, magical things happen! Hurts, grief, guilt, shame, anger, frustration and more are held in the arms of Love – loved, honoured and accepted. In the process, these powerful emotions are transmuted in this field of love. Held, then elevated!
When pondering self-love something came up for me. We continually receive idea nudges of something we could do or experience to enhance our health, wealth and happiness.
However, often times we hold ourselves back or limit our experiences by saying “I can’t.” As an example: I can’t eat healthier or exercise more; x, y, z is preventing me – maybe it’s time, money, knowledge, spouse that are the excuses we use. However, if it is something we truly believe will enhance our healthiest, happiest version, is it not better to question it. Instead of believing “I can’t” and stopping, why not ask “How can I?”
An amazing thing happens when we put a question or request out there, such as; How can I eat healthier? How can I make exercise a priority? Show me the way!
Our mind and inner guidance system has been given an assignment. It has to answer it. That is its job! All of a sudden ideas, people and resources will show up to support us!
The kicker is, is this what we really want and how much do we want it? What will it feel and look like to make these healthier choices and achieve our desired outcome? We know from experience, if we take action and follow our nudges we receive the benefits!
This technique can apply to anything we desire to experience; such as, career changes, going to a gathering with friends, an activity or a trip. If we stop ourselves with “I can’t”, it won’t be our experience. If we ask “How can I?” we open up to possibilities and even if we don’t know how, a way will be shown to us!
This can be one of our biggest sabotages to self-love. Limiting this human experience, denying ourselves adventures, opportunities for play, growth, connection, health, vitality and sheer joy of being our most vibrant version, is the opposite of self-love.
So the next time we say “I can’t go there, I can’t experience that, I can’t move beyond unpleasant emotions of past or present experiences,” why not ask, “How can I?” Watch and listen to how our mind and inner guidance brings us ideas and nudges us toward friends, teachers and resources to show us the way.
We know this to be true!
© Sherry Buikema / March 8, 2020
This Guide is within and without. External, internal and completely one with self and all living beings. This Guide is my voice, his voice, her voice, a voice shared by all, coming from Love and Wisdom.
It encourages me to fan the embers with urgency! Saying:
“Wake up to your mastery! You are a master! You are a creator! You are an individual, unique expression, learning to love self – all that you have experienced, done and are evolving into. You are embracing and truly knowing your role, in all you think, say, do and create.
You are stepping into presence in this NOW moment and the next. Remembering to be with all your beingness.
You are welcoming and activating the previously disconnected parts of self – parts that have been unplugged and are being plugged in again. There is renewed energy, vigor, passion to be creative, opening to all possibilities desiring to be expressed in, through and as you.
You are the breath. You are the heart beat. You are the automatic responses of life force coursing through your being. You are the pulsing and the tingling that triggers excitement bursting from your center and into your world and beyond! You are those things and so much more!
You are the child you came here to be – curious, open, loving, eager-to-explore, discover, laugh and play. You play for playing’s sake; without inhibitions and pre-determined agendas. Free to be!
Connected with body, mind and spirit, you instinctively know your needs and find ways to meet them – never supressing or denying those nudges – going with the flow.
You are innocent and all-knowing in joy and child-like wonder! You are loved! Thank you for listening.”
© Sherry Buikema ~ April 17, 2019
Who knew these ornaments, hanging from the cherry tree could bring so much joy this winter! It seems the simple joys have much to share!
Throughout the winter, during morning tea, I have been mesmerized, enchanted and captivated by the sway of the Christmas balls hanging from the tree. It is a meditative catalyst of sorts, while waking up each day.
Quietly observing and aware, I noticed at first how my mind wanted to sort, organize and label what was happening in order to make some logical sense of it all.
Aside from each ball wearing a different exterior, with various amounts of light shining on them, as I continued to witness the dancing balls, I noticed no two were exactly in sync. As one moved right and left, another moved left then right, this one a shorter distance, that one a longer distance, this one front and back, that one back and front, this one almost still and that one moving vigorously.
I was transfixed on the uniqueness of each one dancing to their own song or beating to their own drum, as it were. Each one being moved a little differently by the unseen force of the wind. The current ebbed and flowed around them, affecting each one in an individual way, resulting in a unique expression in response to this flow.
I realized I had become an observer, one filled with love and joy for what I was witnessing. Loving all of it without judgement. Simply noticing.
There was an incredible joy, resonance and peace that washed over me, as I realized the similarity to all beings. Each one creating unique expressions in response to the flow of their life.
Flowing with deep-felt gratitude)))))
© Sherry Buikema ~ January 25, 2018
Tree Top Take Away
Often nature has much to teach us. I couldn’t help notice the tremendous speed and power of the wind blowing through the tree tops this week. The sound of the wind building and rushing through the trees sounds so similar to waves approaching and crashing in against the shore; the magnificent ebb and flow!
The trees simply stand there, grounded by their roots and supported by the earth, all the while surrendering to the power and majesty of its environment. Without resistance, the trees are in motion, ebbing and flowing, allowing this energy to shake loose the broken parts. Broken branches, damaged from their experience no longer add value to the growth of the tree. They are assisted to return to the ground in order to decompose, feeding the earth and thereby the tree. How perfect!
The tree, no longer inhibited by broken pieces, surrenders to unfurling new leaves and growing new branches. Space has opened up, so the beauty of the tree can fill in the gaps with new growth and expansion; stretching and reaching into a higher version of itself!
This all feels symbolic of this part of the journey for me, as I am practicing surrender to the unseen divine source energy that moves in, through, as and around this being called me. Holding in this space of surrender is not natural, as it is for my tree friends. Surrendering comes with resistance however, with breath, silence and the whispers from my soul I experience a knowing that everything is perfect in this moment and the next. With each moment of surrender and trust, parts which no longer serve are shaken loose, opening space and becoming food for new growth and expansion to bloom.
It takes practice to let go of trying to control everything and allowing divine source energy, which flows and blows through this soul’s expression, to do its job. As it turns out, surrendering to this flow is a beautiful thing!
© Sherry Buikema ~ March 2, 2016
What That Feels Like
A line from the movie, Sweet Home Alabama has been on my mind. In the middle of the wedding ceremony, when the bride speaks her peace about being in love with someone else, the groom says “Wow! This is what that feels like!”
In our human experience, we came to feel a wide variety of e-motions or energy in motion. This is one reason we are here. Often, as we grow we are taught to suck it up, pretend we are tough and sometimes even told not to be so happy or excited.
Later in our journey, as we awaken to the power of our thoughts, we often judge our unhappy feelings and endeavor to change them with whatever tools we have discovered along the way. Although, there is merit in choosing to transmute so-called “negative” into “positive”, there is an opportunity here that we may be overlooking.
It seems we are being given opportunities to observe and even love our emotional experiences. What if we give our attention to how we are feeling? If we have labelled the feeling “bad” what if we really feel that feeling? What if we loved and nurtured ourselves, as we would a young child who had the same feelings? What if we simply placed our hand on our heart and said I love you? The beautiful thing is, once it is acknowledged, felt and loved, it naturally lessens in intensity. The feeling may not leave entirely, but somehow things will feel lighter.
Typically, we humans want to control what happens to ourselves, our loved ones, and surroundings. However, sometimes things happen which appear beyond our control, such as sickness and loss.
As one example, I recently experienced the flu. I have never been so physically sick; vomiting, fever, headaches, body aches and coughing for weeks. It was interesting to observe my thoughts and feelings that came up during this experience. I discovered so many valuable things in the process. Here are a few:
1. The more I grumbled and moaned, the worse I felt. What I resisted… persisted and even magnified!
2. The mundane daily tasks and work waited or was looked after by someone else.
3. There were daily time wasters that were instantly dropped because of simply not feeling well enough to do them.
4. It is okay to give myself permission to do nothing sometimes, especially if my body insists.
5. It is okay to give myself permission to do nothing sometimes as preventative maintenance for body, mind and spirit; not waiting for my body to insist.
6. After a few days of feeling hopeless, I surrendered and allowed what I could not control and started saying I love you to my body.
7. When I started feeling better and the to-do list started calling, I felt frustrated and irritated when my body and energy still would not co-operate. I began saying I love you to my feelings.
8. Most importantly, I experienced an expansion of my heart and an out-pouring of compassion to all beings currently experiencing emotional, mental and physical situations in all degrees. Now I am more regularly choosing to energetically send love to all.
Although normally we might label the flu as “bad”, I am grateful for this experience in which I learned to love myself more, not less because of how I felt physically and emotionally. This experience allowed me to acknowledge, feel and love myself and others more.
So now I can say “Wow! This is what that feels like!”
Note: Before getting the flu, I was nudged to read a book entitled “Whatever Arises, Love That: A Love Revolution That Begins with You” by Matt Kahn. I was able to consciously use this concept in lovingly moving through my flu experience. Thank you, Matt for sharing your gifts.
© Sherry Buikema ~ February 22, 2016